The Russian looks at me one day and says:
"You know Brains, I been told that there is this sick man, very sick man who goes around the stacks at early evening looking for girls, young girls who are asleep and he spills his seed on them as they sleep in the stacks. have you ever heard of this man?"
I take a long look at the Russian and remind myself to shake my head.
"I tell you Brain, if I ever catch this man I will choke him so hard that his head burst just like grape."
Any moment he is going to DAH! isn't that what all big muscle bound Russians say right before they pummel you into oblivion?
Actaully he says: "Right? Am I right?"
I nod.
Anyone who crosses the Russian is going to be a crushed grape. He is 6 foot 5 inches. He is all muscle and speaks like a purer version of Bavarian than Arnold. Hell he would be Conan if he weren't a Christian- some kind of Baptist I think. Very devout and very pure. The Russian never swears, cusses or drinks. When he speaks, one often gets the impression he learned his English from the King James version of the Bible, that and a whole bunch of pretty scarey Baptist Missionaries.
I am not sure if I would be any less afraid of him if he was a vodka drinking, pagan/atheist Communist. The Russian is not and what's more, he is almost likable except when he starts going on about this particular pervert who does- or at least according to Barney (consider the source) goes around and masturbates over young girls who decide to take naps in the carrels or on the couches up there in the stacks. No one I have ever heard of save for Barney and a rather sleazy-scummy librarian named Wormy have ever "seen" this perv. Still, with all the weirdos we do get in here the "Mad Masturbator" (as Barney calls him) has yet to show his "head" on any of my shifts or the Russians now that I think about it. I will have to ask Hervey about him sometime- he'd probably know for sure.
In the meantime the Russian is ready for the two of us to go and look for this Library myth for the third time this shift- which is two times less than the last time I was on shift with the Russian.
"You know Brains, I been told that there is this sick man, very sick man who goes around the stacks at early evening looking for girls, young girls who are asleep and he spills his seed on them as they sleep in the stacks. have you ever heard of this man?"
I take a long look at the Russian and remind myself to shake my head.
"I tell you Brain, if I ever catch this man I will choke him so hard that his head burst just like grape."
Any moment he is going to DAH! isn't that what all big muscle bound Russians say right before they pummel you into oblivion?
Actaully he says: "Right? Am I right?"
I nod.
Anyone who crosses the Russian is going to be a crushed grape. He is 6 foot 5 inches. He is all muscle and speaks like a purer version of Bavarian than Arnold. Hell he would be Conan if he weren't a Christian- some kind of Baptist I think. Very devout and very pure. The Russian never swears, cusses or drinks. When he speaks, one often gets the impression he learned his English from the King James version of the Bible, that and a whole bunch of pretty scarey Baptist Missionaries.
I am not sure if I would be any less afraid of him if he was a vodka drinking, pagan/atheist Communist. The Russian is not and what's more, he is almost likable except when he starts going on about this particular pervert who does- or at least according to Barney (consider the source) goes around and masturbates over young girls who decide to take naps in the carrels or on the couches up there in the stacks. No one I have ever heard of save for Barney and a rather sleazy-scummy librarian named Wormy have ever "seen" this perv. Still, with all the weirdos we do get in here the "Mad Masturbator" (as Barney calls him) has yet to show his "head" on any of my shifts or the Russians now that I think about it. I will have to ask Hervey about him sometime- he'd probably know for sure.
In the meantime the Russian is ready for the two of us to go and look for this Library myth for the third time this shift- which is two times less than the last time I was on shift with the Russian.
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