Traffic control.
To a policeman (person) it's donning the vest, getting the neon gloves, the whistle and girding on authority then walking out into a street with the certainty that no one will hit you with their car. It takes "bells of Steel" unless you are woman of course then it probably takes tits of iron. No matter the inappropriate metaphor- the amount of courage and foolishness often go hand in hand. The thing to remember is to blow the whistle loudly and sharply. Had gestures need to be practiced and to the point. No quavering, quivering allowed.
To a security guard it's donning the vest, looking for gloves, borrowing a whistle (or running down to the surplus store before work with a wad of cash since you DO NOT WANT A PIECE OF CRAP whistle. Getting the authority from the policeman and wading out into human traffic. Yes there are a few select guards allowed to direct cars, but only a few. The rest of the time we get to harass- I mean direct the flow of human beings in and around the traffic.
One night, I am out on assignment and a older guy and a bunch of athletes come to my position. Everything is fine until the old guy steps down into the street. Without turning from my position, I yell "Get back on the curb Sir!" He stops looks at me in surprise and then after a curt hand gesture (nothing but professional hand gestures from the traffic handbook I can assure you) he nods and gets back on the curb.
A moment later I turn to find this enormous football jock in my face.
"Hey, you can't do that! You can't tell him that!"
"Well." I reply and point large- did I say much larger than me footballjock? -back to the curb. He goes although it looks like he is going to kill me at any moment. "Not only I can do that but I will."
"No you can't." Says another athlete- a very self-assured one. "They named this street after him- it is his street."
"Well that is all fine and dandy, pal. But right now this IS MY STREET AND I WILL DETERMINE WHO AND WHAT CROSSES IT WHEN THAT GUY OVER THERE TELLS ME TOO AND NOT BEFORE."
I point to the police officer in the Intersection. "AND NO ONE IS GOING TO DEFY ME NOT EVEN YOU AND THE ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM, YOU GET ME?"
They all look at me like I am nuts but they all nod. The old guy gives me a quiziccal look, then turns a shade of embarrassed and nods. They wait for me to say when it is time to go and cross my street.
After they are long gone I look up at the street sign. Sure enough, the street is named for the head coach at the University- the legendary head coach.
I am sooooo dead.
I radio in.
"Sargeant Wilks, this is Gaurd #42 at the corner of "such and such" (no I am admitting nothing)?"
"Go ahead officer."
"I might have just stepped in it sir- I think I just told the head coach to get back on the curb during traffic control in front of the entire football team. Over."
A whistle comes back over the radio.
"Do we we even have a 10 code for that?"
"No I don't think so, Brainy."
"Parks?" Francine voice came over the radio.
"Yes Ma'am."
"If Coach (so and so) complains I will personally ask him why he was jaywalking in front of his boys. You are fine. Keep up the good work."
"Yes Ma'am!"
To a policeman (person) it's donning the vest, getting the neon gloves, the whistle and girding on authority then walking out into a street with the certainty that no one will hit you with their car. It takes "bells of Steel" unless you are woman of course then it probably takes tits of iron. No matter the inappropriate metaphor- the amount of courage and foolishness often go hand in hand. The thing to remember is to blow the whistle loudly and sharply. Had gestures need to be practiced and to the point. No quavering, quivering allowed.
To a security guard it's donning the vest, looking for gloves, borrowing a whistle (or running down to the surplus store before work with a wad of cash since you DO NOT WANT A PIECE OF CRAP whistle. Getting the authority from the policeman and wading out into human traffic. Yes there are a few select guards allowed to direct cars, but only a few. The rest of the time we get to harass- I mean direct the flow of human beings in and around the traffic.
One night, I am out on assignment and a older guy and a bunch of athletes come to my position. Everything is fine until the old guy steps down into the street. Without turning from my position, I yell "Get back on the curb Sir!" He stops looks at me in surprise and then after a curt hand gesture (nothing but professional hand gestures from the traffic handbook I can assure you) he nods and gets back on the curb.
A moment later I turn to find this enormous football jock in my face.
"Hey, you can't do that! You can't tell him that!"
"Well." I reply and point large- did I say much larger than me footballjock? -back to the curb. He goes although it looks like he is going to kill me at any moment. "Not only I can do that but I will."
"No you can't." Says another athlete- a very self-assured one. "They named this street after him- it is his street."
"Well that is all fine and dandy, pal. But right now this IS MY STREET AND I WILL DETERMINE WHO AND WHAT CROSSES IT WHEN THAT GUY OVER THERE TELLS ME TOO AND NOT BEFORE."
I point to the police officer in the Intersection. "AND NO ONE IS GOING TO DEFY ME NOT EVEN YOU AND THE ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM, YOU GET ME?"
They all look at me like I am nuts but they all nod. The old guy gives me a quiziccal look, then turns a shade of embarrassed and nods. They wait for me to say when it is time to go and cross my street.
After they are long gone I look up at the street sign. Sure enough, the street is named for the head coach at the University- the legendary head coach.
I am sooooo dead.
I radio in.
"Sargeant Wilks, this is Gaurd #42 at the corner of "such and such" (no I am admitting nothing)?"
"Go ahead officer."
"I might have just stepped in it sir- I think I just told the head coach to get back on the curb during traffic control in front of the entire football team. Over."
A whistle comes back over the radio.
"Do we we even have a 10 code for that?"
"No I don't think so, Brainy."
"Parks?" Francine voice came over the radio.
"Yes Ma'am."
"If Coach (so and so) complains I will personally ask him why he was jaywalking in front of his boys. You are fine. Keep up the good work."
"Yes Ma'am!"
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