When I first took this crazy job there was this guy working there as a guard, he was like the only guard who was actually going to school and majoring in criminal science or some kind of policing action. The best things about this guy were that he never took the job seriously enough to become the assholes that a lot of guards and cops become. Also he was always level headed and had a good sense of humor, especially to the irony of our situation.
What's more he was my friend. Unfortunately for me I was coming as he was going. I knew him about 4 weeks in the year before I got the inside job in the stacks. Then he graduated and went out for something like the FBI.
He knew I could write, so one night right before roll call, he turns to me and says these fateful words.
"Hey, when you write the book about all this could you leave my name out of it and promise me that you will call it MY LIFE AS A SMURF?"
"Smurf?"
"Yeah, that is what we are, there is Papa smurf coming in to say his few and i mean very few words of wisdom. Junior smurf who will assume that because papa Smurf has little to say that he can fill in all the gaps, but we will mostly ignore him. We wear blue shirts like the smurfs and black pants.... we for all intents and purposes they might as well be white."
"No caps.."
"Don't interrupt."
"Sorry."
"And" and he raises a very important finger. "And!"
Junior Smurf thinks that this guy wants to ask a question. "WAIT UNTIL ROLL CALL AND BRIEFING" Junior Smurf says -which isn't what we actually call it anyway.
This Guy ignores him and gestures to the self-appointed head guard.
"We have our own Smurfette."
Gracey dutifully blushes and ducks a curtsey, I think shes in love with This Guy. And he's right, we only have at this point one woman crazy enough to be a Guard and an unarmed one at that.
"So what are you going to call the book?" This Guy asks.
"If I write it?"
"When you write it?"
"My life as a smurf."
"And what will you call me?"
"I was thinking of something that rhymes with Woodchuck..."
We all laugh except for Junior Smurf whose name rhymes with woodchuck....
What's more he was my friend. Unfortunately for me I was coming as he was going. I knew him about 4 weeks in the year before I got the inside job in the stacks. Then he graduated and went out for something like the FBI.
He knew I could write, so one night right before roll call, he turns to me and says these fateful words.
"Hey, when you write the book about all this could you leave my name out of it and promise me that you will call it MY LIFE AS A SMURF?"
"Smurf?"
"Yeah, that is what we are, there is Papa smurf coming in to say his few and i mean very few words of wisdom. Junior smurf who will assume that because papa Smurf has little to say that he can fill in all the gaps, but we will mostly ignore him. We wear blue shirts like the smurfs and black pants.... we for all intents and purposes they might as well be white."
"No caps.."
"Don't interrupt."
"Sorry."
"And" and he raises a very important finger. "And!"
Junior Smurf thinks that this guy wants to ask a question. "WAIT UNTIL ROLL CALL AND BRIEFING" Junior Smurf says -which isn't what we actually call it anyway.
This Guy ignores him and gestures to the self-appointed head guard.
"We have our own Smurfette."
Gracey dutifully blushes and ducks a curtsey, I think shes in love with This Guy. And he's right, we only have at this point one woman crazy enough to be a Guard and an unarmed one at that.
"So what are you going to call the book?" This Guy asks.
"If I write it?"
"When you write it?"
"My life as a smurf."
"And what will you call me?"
"I was thinking of something that rhymes with Woodchuck..."
We all laugh except for Junior Smurf whose name rhymes with woodchuck....
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